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BLOGGER “It’s supply and demand, simple as that,” claimed Johnson, the human equivalent of the smeg that develops under foreskins, “I think they [people of colour] should just be thankful that police here aren’t shooting them,” unlike the US where 31% of victims killed by police are black, despite them making up just 13% of the population, “People may say that I’m complicit in maintaining an obviously racist status quo by failing to speak out against the issue, but people forget – I’m a white, middle-class male – I’m a living god in Vietnam.” Discourse on the racially discriminatory policies of language centres in Hanoi has been carried out as intelligently as ever across various Hanoian Facebook groups, but for King and other teachers of colour, it’s simply not enough. “Honestly, at this point I’ve got a big bag of chalk that I’m just going to douse myself in when it comes to my next interview,” he explained, “If you think the sun never sets on the British empire then the sun will never set on how far you can fuck off.” Many white English teachers in Vietnam take no issue with being fleshy decorations in classrooms around the country, while teachers of colour are routinely rejected on account of parents’ predilection for paler educators. Speaking on behalf of that sizeable group was former South African farmer Armand Smithson, 24, who fled his country to blunder his way through the Vietnamese capital’s education system. “It’s paradise here,” he explained gleefully, “Things are just as they should be, with me being paid an inordinate amount for something I’m totally unqualified to do, while qualified people of colour are overlooked, I can’t see myself leaving, ever.”